How to get a guy to kiss you…it’s been an emotionally taxing subject for most women for generations and still is.

Let’s face it, whether you’re on a first date, out again with someone you’ve been seeing regularly or maybe re-establishing contact with an ex, you’re probably spending the majority of your time thinking about him kissing you.  Will he kiss you?  Should you let him?  How do you go about letting him without seeming too eager?  The pressure is on, and what most women don’t realize is that it’s on just as much for him as it is for you.

That’s right, while men are generally expected to make the first move in terms of physical contact, particularly kissing, that doesn’t mean that it is something that comes naturally to them.  If you’re wondering how to kiss a guy for the first time, you might want to stop and think about whether he’s wondering the same thing about you.  And the more he does wonder, the more pressure he can put on himself, which is liable to make him pull away, at which point the only kissing involved will be when you kiss him goodbye.

The Secret

The secret of kissing is that it is actually a multi-layered experience.  It’s not just about the physical action, there’s an emotional side to it as well.  How to get a guy to kiss you begins with building up the proper emotional connection so that he feels comfortable with you.  If a guy doesn’t feel like it’s ok to kiss you, then he’s not going to even try.  It’s up to you to send the proper signals so that he knows you’re open to the idea.

The Eyes Have It

Ok, so how to kiss a guy for the first time doesn’t start with closing your eyes and pursing your lips, then.  Believe it or not, it actually starts with your eyes.  Making eye contact, smiling, even touching him lightly on the arm or the chest can all let him know that you are interested and open to physical contact.  It can also help to rev his engine a little, making him excited to consider more.

Of course, there’s a difference between initiating physical contact and throwing yourself at him.  You need it to be subtle, romantic, not over the top or in your face.  The more obvious you make it, the more likely it is that you’ll find yourself kissing him goodbye rather than experiencing that perfect first kiss.  As the old saying goes, you always want to leave them wanting more.  Lightly brushing against his hand or his cheek is like leaving a little series of directional signals saying, it’s ok, I’m really into you and I want you to feel the same.

Pay Attention to This

That’s all well and good as far as a physical connection is concerned, but letting him know that you are emotionally connected is also important.  That begins with paying attention to him, listening to what he has to say, making him feel like he is in the driver’s seat so that he’s comfortable taking that next step.  How to get a guy to kiss you isn’t by being easy, it’s by being emotionally available to him and letting him know that he matters to you.  The more confident a guy is, the more likely he is to eventually move in for that all-important kiss.

Once you’ve laid the groundwork, then knowing how to kiss a guy for the first time is also important.  Again, you never want to look overly eager and you never want to grab him and go for it.  Let him initiate, giving a slight nudge if necessary just so that he knows there is no need to feel insecure, then, by all means, be soft and feminine about it.  Once again, less is more and leaving him with a little tingle of anticipation isn’t a bad thing.

Is This Goodbye?

The key to keeping the first kiss from devolving into kissing him goodbye is by being open, honest, patient and non-threatening.  Remember that he is likely just as insecure and uncertain about this as you are and he needs to have his ego stroked a little so that things don’t break down along the way.  Let him know that he doesn’t have to be perfect, that you’re attracted to him for who he is and that all you want is the same in return.

It’s a lot of pressure to put on two people trying to have a romantic date, but it doesn’t have to be that way.  How to get a guy to kiss you is not by making that kiss the be all and end all of the date.  Make it about yourselves, about getting to know each other and being comfortable with each other and the rest will fall into place.  And if you do it right, it’ll just be the first of many kisses to come!