So you’ve spotted a cute guy at the coffee shop or discovered a co-worker who you’d like to get to know better.  How do you go about sending out the right signals that let him know you’re interested without coming off looking like you’re desperate?  

The art of flirting is hardly new but that doesn’t mean it’s gotten any easier.  In fact, in this technological age it’s just gotten more complicated now that you can flirt via text too.  So where does a girl begin?

Flirting in Person

You’d think flirting would be easier once you’re face to face, but this can be the most challenging type of all because being that close can make you that much more nervous. 

Don’t panic, though, there are some simple things you can do to catch his eye and put those feelers out.

1. Talk to him – sounds obvious, doesn’t it?  You’d be surprised, though, how much talking can work.  Engaging him in conversation is a great way to break the ice and let him know you want to know more.  But be careful how you go about it.  Don’t go on endlessly about yourself; that can be a huge turn off

Instead, show interest in him. 

Find out what he likes and guide the conversation in that direction.  That’s bound to make the right impression. 

When you talk to him, make sure to use his name a lot and try to open the conversation with a question, which will encourage him to respond.

2. Smile and laugh – most people find smiling very attractive, so try to smile when you’re around him, as this will make you more inviting.  Nobody likes to spend time with a crabby person, so smiling will show that you are fun to be around.  

Make sure you laugh at his jokes too. 

That can be a major confidence booster, but don’t overdo it or you could come off sounding like a crazy woman!

3. Reach out and touch him – touch is a very intimate gesture and goes a long way toward showing how you feel.  Lightly brushing against his arm or hand while you talk, putting your hand on his shoulder or leaning into him when you’re talking can all show him that you’re not afraid to get closer and that you trust him. 

Another great technique is to adjust his collar and gently brush the skin of his neck in the process.

Any of these will tell him that you want to take things a step further and open the door for him to reciprocate.

4. Compliment him – let’s face it, guys love to be complimented but make sure that the compliment is a specific one so that it stands out. 

Just saying, “I think you’re cute” will not get much of a reaction but praising his athletic ability or some other talent of his will show that you’re really paying attention and mean more to him. 

When you do pay him a compliment, smile and make eye contact to show that you’re sincere, but don’t go overboard or it will look like you’re trying too hard.

Flirting From Across The Room

Of course, more often than not your initial try at flirting will probably come from a distance.  You spot him across the room and want to get his attention so you start sending up signal flags. 

Again, there are particular things you can do to make this work and get him moving in your direction.

1. Make eye contact – this is the first step in flirting.  Not only does taking a lingering look at him show him that you’re interested, it can help you gauge his level of interest too.  If he holds your stare then chances are good that he’s interested in you. 

You don’t want to stare for too long though as that can come across as creepy, so give it a minute or two and then look away.  You might even want to throw in a wink before you turn away as an extra “tease”.  

Of course you can always try out the old standard of batting your eyelashes at him…believe it or not that still works!

2. Talk in body language – most people don’t realize that you can say just as much, if not more, with your body language as you can with your words. 

Crossing your arms in front of your chest is a natural stance that many people assume without even realizing it, but it can give the impression that you’re closing yourself off so you need to avoid it. 

Flipping your hair or toying with a piece of jewelry are patented flirting techniques that most guys will instantly recognize so that can be an easy way of letting him know you’re interested.

3. Find ways to cross his path – If you want to flirt with him, you need to be where he can see you. Walking by his desk at work or walking your dog in the park where he’s playing touch football are just some of the ways that you can come into his orbit and hopefully spark his interest without looking too obvious, but be careful not to do it too much so you don’t end up looking like a stalker.

4. Take pride in your appearance – taking an extra few minutes to do your hair and put on makeup can boost your confidence, which can help you to up your game when it comes to flirting, and if you have more confidence you’ll be that much more attractive to him.  

It can also show him that you’re serious about wanting to look your best for him, which never hurts.

Flirting By Text

This is a new generation and with so many people spending nearly all of their time attached to their smart phones it’s no surprise that flirting has gone techno too. 

If you’re particularly shy and have a hard time making the first move in person, one of the easiest ways to flirt with a guy is via text message.  Again, there are certain ways that you want to go about it.

1. “Accidently” text him – this can be a good way to start a conversation without looking like you’re too eager.   Pretend you were trying to contact someone else and got him instead, “Oh sorry, I was trying to contact…” then just add in “but what are you doing this weekend?”  

That way you can let him know that you didn’t mean to intrude but are happy to talk to him.

2. Make the conversation stimulating – there’s nothing worse than getting a bunch of boring texts like “what’s up?”  Once you do start texting with him, make sure it’s a good, solid conversation but also leave some of his questions hanging so you don’t look overly enthusiastic. 

You want to keep him interested without knocking him over the head with a thousand texts.

3. Heat things up a bit – once you’ve got that flirty vibe going you can get a little more suggestive, although you don’t want to get too racy.  

You might say something like “I’m having a lousy day, wish you were here to make it better.” The idea is to let him know that you’re interested in being more than just friends without being crude about it.

4. Don’t bombard him with texts – you never want to come off as desperate.  The general rules of texting say that you should always send the same amount of texts as you receive, so if you’re sending twice as many replies as you’re getting from him, chances are you’re sounding a bit pushy. 

You don’t always have to be the first one to text.  Playing hard to get works just as well in texts as it does in person, so hold back a little and let him make the first move sometimes.

5. Ask him out – that’s right, we said it…you can use the opportunity of texting to ask him out.  It can be easier to do it this way than in person, just make sure you keep it casual.   Something like “I’ve been wanting to check out that new Star Wars movie, want to come?” should do the trick. 

And if he says no, don’t panic.  Just play it cool and leave it up to him whether to keep the conversation going or not.

There is nothing quite like that awkward flirting stage but it doesn’t always have to be difficult.  If you keep these tips in mind and approach it correctly, it can be a lot of fun and may just be the first step toward building a deeper relationship.  

Remember to just relax and be yourself.  The worst thing you can do is to try too hard. 

Just have fun with it and if you don’t get the same vibe back from him, then don’t sweat it, there are other fish in the sea.  With the right bait, you’ll be getting plenty of nibbles on the line in no time!