Breakups are never easy. Whether you were the one who got dumped or you had to end things, going through a breakup can leave you feeling blindsided, devastated, and just downright sad. The pain is real and can feel unbearable. But don’t despair – with time and effort, you can move on and be happy again. Here are some tips to help you heal and get over your ex:

Let yourself grieve

It’s normal and healthy to feel sad and mourn the loss of your relationship for a while. Allow yourself to fully experience the pain – cry if you need to, punch a pillow, vent to friends, write a letter. That’s okay. Don’t suppress your feelings or “get over it” too fast. You need to process the grief. It’s important to give yourself permission to grieve and feel the pain after the end of a relationship. Suppressing or rushing through these emotions can lead to unresolved issues and may prolong the healing process.

It’s okay to cry, scream, or find healthy outlets to express your emotions. Seek support from friends or a therapist who can provide a listening ear and offer perspective. Remember that everyone’s healing process is unique and won’t necessarily happen quickly. For most people, it takes time to fully recover from a loss.

Cut off contact

At least for now, don’t contact your ex. Seeing or talking to your ex will likely reopen emotional wounds. Remove them from social media, delete their number, avoid places they hang out. Give yourself space to heal without them around.

To move on from a breakup, cutting off contact with your ex is a crucial step in the healing process. Constantly seeing or talking to them will only prolong your emotional pain and hinder your progress. Here are some steps you can take to create distance and allow yourself the space to heal:

1. Remove them from social media: Unfriend, unfollow, or block your ex on all social media platforms. Seeing their posts or updates can trigger emotions and memories that will make it harder for you to get over someone and move on. Keeping track of your ex’s every move will amplify your negative emotions and make you feel worse.
2. Delete their number: Erase your ex’s contact information from your phone. By doing so, you won’t be tempted to reach out to them when you’re feeling vulnerable or lonely. If you have to talk to someone, call a friend or family member.
3. Avoid places they hang out: If there are locations where you know your ex frequents, try to avoid them for the time being. This will minimize the chance of unexpected encounters and help you maintain your focus on healing.
4. Set boundaries: If you have mutual friends or connections, communicate your need for space and ask them to respect your decision to cut off contact with your ex. Sometimes it may be necessary to limit interactions with shared friends temporarily to minimize the chances of running into your ex or hearing about them.
5. Focus on self-care and self-improvement: Instead of dwelling on the past relationship, use this time to invest in yourself. Focus on activities that bring you joy, that make you happy, take care of your physical and mental well-being, and pursue personal goals. Engaging in new hobbies, exercising, or seeking therapy can be beneficial during this healing process.

Remember, healing takes time, and everyone’s journey is different. Give yourself permission to heal at your own pace and be patient with yourself.

“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.”

 

Lean on loved ones

Spending time with close friends and family who care about you and make you feel loved during this post-breakup period can help ease feelings of rejection and abandonment after a split. Their support can be invaluable during this difficult transition. Make an effort to regularly connect with your closest confidants – whether that’s visiting a sibling, going to dinner with a dear friend, or having a heart-to-heart with a parent.

Let yourself be vulnerable and accept both their comfort and any wise perspective they may offer. Having people in your corner reminding you of your worth, making you laugh when all you want to do is cry, and getting you out of the house for a change of scenery can aid immensely in lifting your spirits after a breakup leaves you feeling alone.

Though romantic relationships come and go, these are the people who will remain by your side in good times and bad. Lean on their unconditional love, allow them to nurture you, and appreciate these bonds that withstand even devastating heartbreak. Their reassuring presence and listening ear can make all the difference in soothing your soul when it feels like your world has been turned upside down.

You will get through this failed relationship – and your loved ones will help guide you to the light.

“Sometimes the hardest part isn’t letting go but rather learning to start over.”

When your ex moves on, it can be a challenging and emotional experience. It may bring up feelings of sadness, disappointment, and even jealousy. Seeing your ex with someone new can make you question your own self-worth and desirability. You may wonder why they were able to move on so quickly while you are still healing from the breakup. Don’t fall into the trap. It’s important to remember that everyone heals and moves on at their own pace. What works for one person may not work for another.

Instead of comparing yourself to your ex’s new partner, focus on your own growth and healing. Use this as an opportunity to discover who you are as an individual and what you truly want in a relationship. Remember, just because your ex has moved on doesn’t mean that you are any less valuable or deserving of love. Take the time to heal and love yourself before jumping into a new relationship.

• Throw yourself into activities. Burying yourself in work, hitting the gym, taking up a new hobby, or planning fun outings with friends and meeting new people can keep your mind occupied and boost your mood.
• Be kind to yourself. Show yourself the same compassion you’d show a friend in this situation. Comfort yourself with your favorite foods, movies, books – anything that brings you joy.
• Consider counseling. If feelings of depression or anxiety after the breakup persist, it may be worthwhile to seek professional help. A counselor can provide strategies to help you move forward.
• Reflect on the relationship’s red flags. While breakups are always hard, try to remember the issues that led to the split in the first place. Recognizing the relationship likely wasn’t meant to be can bring closure.
• Work on self-improvement. Now that you’re single again, focus on being the best version of yourself. Take some time to pursue career goals, expand your social circle, pick up new hobbies. Investing in your own growth can boost self-esteem.
• Date when you’re ready. If you’re craving companionship and think you’re emotionally prepared, go ahead and put yourself back out there. But don’t rush into anything serious too quickly. Keep it casual.
• Be patient. Healing from heartbreak doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time to process the end of a relationship and stop feeling attached to an ex. Be kind to yourself and understand that moving on is a journey. The pain will subside eventually.
• Remember, this too shall pass. As the old adage goes, “Time heals all wounds.” The hurt feels endless now but it will gradually fade. One day, you’ll wake up and realize you’re OK. You survived. And you can fall in love again. Brighter days are ahead.

Breakups are devastating. There’s no sugarcoating it. Let yourself feel all the feelings and go through the grief process. With time and effort, your broken heart will mend. Self-care strategies and leaning on loved ones can aid healing. Be patient and know that the anguish is only temporary. You will get through this and thrive again. The pain of yesterday is the strength of tomorrow. You got this.

“You have to love yourself first before you can love someone else. That’s what I tell all my homegirls.”

FAQ

When will I stop feeling so sad after the breakup?

There is no set timeline for getting over a breakup. Allow yourself to fully grieve the loss of the relationship. The acute pain usually starts to fade after a few weeks or months.

How do I stop thinking about my ex all the time?

Removing reminders of your ex, staying busy, and focusing on self-care can help you think about them less. The thoughts will become less frequent over time.

Why do I keep crying so much?

Crying is a normal part of the grieving process after a breakup. Let yourself cry as much as you need to release the pain. The crying spells should lessen after the initial raw stage.

How do I fight the urge to call or text my ex?

Delete their number, remove them on social media, and ask friends to help you resist contacting them. The urge usually passes within 30 minutes if you distract yourself.

When will I be ready to date again?

Don’t rush into dating until you’ve healed, taken time for yourself, and feel emotionally prepared to open your heart again. Moving on too quickly can prolong the pain.

How do I handle running into my ex in public?

Be polite but brief if you can’t avoid them. Have an exit strategy ready, such as rejoining friends or needing to be somewhere. Don’t get pulled into a long conversation.

Does breaking ties help me move on faster?

Cutting contact with an ex is usually advised after a breakup to help you heal. But once you’ve moved on, friendly contact may be possible if you’ve both accepted the split.

How do I deal with mutual friends after the breakup?

Kindly ask mutual friends not to mention your ex and not to share details about them with you. Don’t bash your ex to the friends either.

Will I ever find love again?

Yes, you can absolutely find a new, healthy, fulfilling relationship after heartbreak. Take the time to heal and don’t lose hope. The pain is temporary and you will love again.

Why do I keep reminiscing about the good times?

Focusing on the positives is normal, but also remember the issues that led to the breakup. Filling your life with new positive experiences can help make the memories less consuming.

What are the 7 stages of getting over your ex?

The 7 stages of getting over your ex are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, forgiveness, and growth.

How can I speed through the stages of getting over my ex?

While everyone heals at their own pace, there are some things you can do to speed up the process. These include seeking support from friends and family, focusing on self-care, engaging in new hobbies or activities, and seeking professional help if needed.

How can I deal with reminders of my ex?

Dealing with reminders of your ex can be challenging, but there are strategies you can use. These include creating new memories in places that were special to you as a couple, redecorating your living space, distancing yourself from things that remind you of your ex, and focusing on the present moment instead of dwelling on the past.

How can I rediscover myself after a breakup?

Rediscovering yourself after a breakup is an important part of the healing process. Some ways to do this include exploring new interests or hobbies, setting personal goals, spending time alone to reflect and understand yourself better, and surrounding yourself with positive influences.

How do I get over a breakup?

Getting over a breakup takes time and self-care. There will be good days and not-so-good days. It’s important to allow yourself to feel your emotions, seek support from friends and family, practice self-compassion, engage in healthy coping mechanisms, and focus on personal growth.

Should I contact my ex after a breakup?

Contacting your ex after a breakup is not recommended, especially if the breakup is still fresh. It’s important to give yourself space and time to heal. If you do decide to reach out, make sure you have clear intentions and be prepared for various outcomes.

How can I get my mind off my ex?

There are several ways to get your mind off your ex. These include staying busy with work or hobbies, spending time with loved ones, focusing on self-improvement, practicing mindfulness or meditation, and journaling your thoughts and feelings.

Is it okay to allow myself to feel sad after a breakup?

Yes, it is completely okay and normal to allow yourself to feel sad after your relationship ended. It’s important to acknowledge and process your emotions instead of suppressing them. Remember to be patient with yourself as healing takes time.

How can I make myself happy again after a breakup?

Making yourself happy again after a breakup is a gradual process. Some helpful tips for moving towards happiness include practicing self-care, focusing on personal growth, nurturing relationships with friends and family, seeking professional help if needed, and engaging in activities that bring you joy.

Should I seek revenge by posting about my ex on social media?

Seeking revenge by posting about your ex on social media is not recommended. While it may provide temporary satisfaction, it can also have negative consequences and prolong your healing process. It’s best to focus on your own well-being and move forward in a positive way.