How to get him to open up is a question many women have pondered. More often than not, they feel like they aren’t getting the type of emotional response they want from their man and they feel the need to do something about it. It’s a natural reaction, but unfortunately, it can also be exactly the opposite of what they should do in this particular situation. When your man has gone silent, whether on a big issue or even a small one, like what to have for dinner, the last thing you want to do is push him for an answer.
In most cases, when asked why do men withdraw, experts answer that they do so because they are unsure of what their response should be. This is particularly true of emotional responses, as men are usually trained to curb their emotions. From the time they are little boys, they are told that expressing emotions is a female thing and that as men they need to be more macho and take the physical, outward approach rather than exposing their innermost feelings.
Now fast forward to adulthood and the dating scene and they are getting the exact opposite message…you want them to be more open and share their feelings. Is it any wonder that they become emotionally unavailable men? They are literally trying to figure out exactly what they are supposed to do and the best way to go about it without offending you. How to get him to open up, then, with all of this in mind, begins with being as patient as possible.
Pushing the subject will get you nowhere. In fact, it is only likely to make him shut down even more. You can’t force emotions and the more pressure you put on him, the worse you’ll make it. If you can begin to understand why do men withdraw, then you’ll be able to see your way to helping your man open up without feeling threatened. Let him come to it in his own time, speak when he is ready to and when he does open up, be prepared to listen openly and respond with honesty and support.
If you can manage that, you’ll go a long way toward navigating the treacherous waters populated by emotionally unavailable men and coming out the other side with a stronger relationship, built on mutual love, concern, and understanding. How to get him to open up is really no great mystery, you just need to try and see things from his perspective. You should also realize that not only is he fighting with the conflict over expressing his own emotions, he’s probably also worrying about saying exactly the right thing so that he doesn’t upset you.
Sometimes, the answer to why do men withdraw is as simple as they see being silent as better than opening their mouths and potentially saying something hurtful. You may want his support when you’ve vented to him about an argument you’ve had but if he happens to take the other side, he may be afraid to say so for fear of hurting you. You can help him over that hump by letting him know that you truly value his opinion, whatever it may be, and that you won’t be offended.
Dealing with emotionally unavailable men can be frustrating, but often it is far easier to combat than you might think. The important thing to remember is that, no matter how upset you may be, you should never respond by going on the offensive. Usually, men don’t shut down to be spiteful, they are genuinely unsure of how to deal with their emotions and being attacked isn’t going to help them to get over that discomfort any easier.
How to get him to open up could be as simple as asking him a question that allows him to express his emotions without feeling like he is being put on the spot. If you can manage this, you may even find that he opens up quite freely. He just wants to know that it’s ok to say what he’s feeling and that nobody will judge him for it or expect a certain response from him. If you’ve ever asked why do men withdraw, fear of being judged for even having emotions is often at the top of the list of reasons.
It’s never easy to handle emotionally unavailable men, but if you can learn to do it, you’ll have the advantage when it comes to building a relationship. With mutual respect and trust comes better communication on all levels, which is the true key to any good partnership.